Today’s task was to “learn to tell one joke properly.” The joke: ” -How many elephants does it take to change a light bulb? -Don’t be silly. Elephants cannot change lightbulbs!” So, I was practicing on Opee who was turning his head left and right while listening to me enunciate. Then he became disinterested and rolled on his back for…
Today’s task was to “memorize answers to the following questions:” 1. What do you call little plastic things on top of the tip on your shoelaces: Aglets (I plan to use them in casual conversation) 2. Why do you never see baby pigeons: They grow up too fast (makes sense. You also don’t see their nest. Very careless to breed…
Today’s task was “forget the practicalities: decide what you really want out of life.” Here are my wants: 1. To be a queen of Lombordy (I know totally random but I like the sound of Lambordy. although Milan sounds good too). 2. My enemy’s head on the plate (I cannot reveal my enemy but trust me he deserves it). 3.…
Today’s task was to “ensure your best features.” This is what I thought to ensure: Nose (cute) — value $5,890. Premium $54.03 a month (surely I can afford it since I don’t have a car payment and it is less than I pay for a car monthly). Smile– Value $1,545. Premium $23 a month (totally doable provided I can do…
Today’s task was to “stalk an animal.” So, this one was easy as I have a stray cat living behind my building. Opee and I go there sometimes on walks as he loves cat poop and keeps me on my toes recognizing when he looks for cat poop or tries to find a spot to pee on. Anyhow, because of…
Today’s task was to “order something off-menu.” Here were my choices: 1. Sauteed foie gras with yuzu-wasabi-soy vinaigrettete. 2. Baby octopi with lavender-smoked berlotti topped with caviar. 3. Siberian scallops on a bed of crispy mango-dipped noodles. 4. Peasant-style roast poussin with jus d’escargot and tomato concassee. Since all sounds like something French will do (although #2 sounded more Italian)…
Today was a “Reverse Brainwashing Day.” I was supposed to return them to their originators. I did it by mail. Here are the thoughts I used: 1. Ambition is good: Return to father. 2. Sex is dirty: Return to mother. 3. My inner problems are interesting to others: Return to Freud. 4. Love is all that matters: Return to pop…
Today’s task was dedicated to Nostradamus. I am supposed to predict the future for 2050. Here are my predictions: 1. Clothing: although there is a strong possibility that the 1980s will make come back all wearing Gap is more feasible. Yey for discount items. Stock up now. 2. Transport: ditch the hybrids or electric and definitely Teslas (directed at yuppies…
Today’s task was to “do as you are told.” Well, seeing how it is Sunday I can’t really practice it at work nor do I want to. Here comes Opee. Although he is already the king of my household (sans the crown) I decided to go the extra mile. The morning started with him jumping on my bed and snoozing…
Today’s task was “to be on the lookout for paranormal”. here are paranormal things I experienced: 1. Strange wind-like whisper — probably my neighbors paying me back for the fire alarm at 1 am. 2. Unexplained smells — probably my neighbors or the leftover from the previous owner or my house sitter. I am burning candles to get rid of…
