Today’s task was “to go to the nearest cemetery, cover your face with flour, and walk into town with your arms outstretched.” Well, this was a fun one. I went to the cemetery near Cornelius (30 minutes of driving but it is a beautiful cemetery). Opee was with me. As I covered myself with flour he felt inclined to lick…
Today’s task was to “mouth something obscene to a stranger.” Things I chose to mouth: 1. I’m hot for you 2. You look naughty 3. Hello horny 4. Fucky fucky sucky sucky 5. Nice ass stranger I was somewhat afraid they can actually call me on that in which case I was prepared to say, “Your shoelaces are untied.” So,…
Today’s task was to “spend $37.” Apparently, economists determined that $37 a day is the optimal figure to spend at this point to spend at the billing cycle. Do your duty for the world economy to purchase goods for $37. That was not easy as I had to add everything I purchased at Trader Jo’s and no matter how I…
Today’s task was to “prepare for your own death today.” Writing my own obituary: We loved her. She was the light of our life. But she crossed the rainbow bridge and we hope she is OK. We also hope we won’t be hunted by her spirit. Sage, it is. Who else would do me justice… Burial or cremation — biodegradable…
Today’s task was to “shoplift something.” After closely examining examples of what to shoplift that the book offers as follows: 1. A sweet — Police caution (don’t eat sweets. A leftover from Soviet childhood where we did not have any). 2. A car — 4 years (seems too low. No? anyhow, would not fit in my pocket. Plus Fred’s does…
Today’s task was to indulge yourself. Following Oscar Wilde’s quote: “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from the lack of imagination” I proceeded to the list of items I was supposed to indulge myself with. Here is the list: 1. Caviar: Tsar Imperial beluga = $1,500 a lb. Nope. Could not find it on Amazon anyway. Could have had…
My task today was to plan for my old age. Here is my want for old age things: 1. Mansion: $1,000,000 2. Yaht: $200,000 3. Golf: $5,000 a year 4. Viagra: $5,000 a year 5. Trip down to the Nile: $5,000 a year 6. Medical care: $100,000 a year (this one is a lowball as my meds cost $15,000 a…
Today’s task was to “found an entirely new city.” Every city starts with a single brick. According to instructions, I was supposed to find a brick and then a field to lay it in (preferably by a river as it will make your city a trading port in the future). Finding a brick was easy as my condo came with…
Today’s task was to “wreak havoc on a microscopic scale.” The task is as follows: 1. Shake hands with someone and spread armies of staphylococcus — It’s raining today and my freakazoid doggo won’t go on a walk unless I drive him somewhere where he has no choice but to walk during the rain. Thank god the roads are OK…
Today’s task was the emergency button day. We don’t have emergency buttons in the US (the book is from England) but we do have fire alarms. To complete this task I went to the University campus where I work. (well, I had a specific reason: I needed to pick up a different computer from my office and the reason I…
