Today’s task was to “make a pact with the devil” Here is my application: Dear Lucifer, I, Dame Tatiana, wish to make a pact with you. In exchange for my soul, you will grant me great power/vast wealth (in the amount of at least $50,000 so that I can fix my condo which is incidentally my ransom amount) for the…
Today’s task was to “fake your own kidnapping and see if anyone pays the ransom” Here is the note I distributed by posting it on pedestrian crossroads and on random trees in the park: “We have Dame Tatiana. Nothing will harm her if $50,000 are left here: Rock Creek park, the third tree from the trailhead by Saturday at noon.…
Today’s task was to apply for the jobs you have absolutely no chance of getting. here is my list: Fire Inspection Coordinator– I know how sprinkles work Sales Representative Entry Level – Work From Home — tempting as I would love staying on working from home Assistant Signal Person — have no idea what it is but I put my…
Today’s task was to borrow something from your neighbor the stranger the better. I had options: A rotten egg — no way. I would not be able to stand the smell. Key to the kingdom — no interest in this either. I have my own kingdom to rule. It is called Passive Aggresiva and I am their queen. 999 grains…
Today’s task was to rage against the machine. The book provided the machines. I provided the commentary: Rage against the toaster — did it this morning. “You’ve burnt it again! Raaaaaaggghhh!!! Rage against the kettle — also this morning as I was trying to have tea. “Boil you fucker, boil!!!! Rage against the elevator — I had to take one…
Today’s task was to “praise an unsung achievement.” So I decided on 3 (one politically incorrect as most of the society hates them but I saw them in action so there.) 1. Neighbor: I posted a note on his door. This is what it said (true to the core in regards to him). “Dear neighbor. Sorry to bother you with…
Today’s task was to generate your own barcode. The book gave examples of some famous people with barcodes: Michael Jackson Tom Hanks Salman Rushdie Celine Dion Oprah Winfrey Elton John Yoko Ono I am proud to join their ranks. Well, some of them. Don’t care much for Celine or Oprah. I don’t want to see your millions worth which of…
Today’s task was to learn how to tie a knot. First I had to determine why. Here is what I thought: Escape from fire. escape from kidnapping. Tie up a maniac until the police arrive. Tie yourself to a tree during the tornado. I learned a single wall knot: Unlay the ends of the rope, and form A bight with…
Today’s task was to “presell your memoirs based on my spectacular future achievements” So, I mailed the letter to an address provided by the book: 12a Wyman Park Drive, Somerset, NJ 08872 This is the letter (kind of a long read): Dear publisher, This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to buy my memoirs. I am Tatiana and you have…
