Thursday

10.8.20

dog and I

Some days are tougher than others. Today is that day. No reason that I can determine. Everything is the same. And besides, I went on a 10-mile walk with my beastie in the morning. That usually takes care of all the trash that tends to reside in the mind. So yes, I have no idea why. It just how it goes… As I said, some days are tougher than others.

It might do to the fact that I am not that busy at work. There were hardly any calls for help. I have to admit, one of the things that still keeps me on this job is helping people. I love helping people. I love making them feel like they go from helpless to happy even about the small stuff. One of the people who asked for help today was an instructor who never says “Thank you.” It is not that big of a deal but receiving a thank you from someone you helped is a good validation of your efforts on this job. That’s why I don’t like to answer her calls for help. But I guess I am paid for the job so I should not complain as it should be valid enough.

On a positive note, I have run into a few friends of mine while hiking the Bayocean trail. It was great to see them all as due to COVID I have not for 6 months. The best thing of all was getting hugs. I have not been touched by another human being in so long that it felt like warm milk before bed. I so desperately wanted to ask them to hug me again and probably should have. I know they would have acquiesced but at the time it just seemed like being too needy (which is ridiculous). Anyhow, we agreed to get together for dinner in spite of the COVID. At this point, a social connection is worth more to me than anything else in spite of the fact that COVID cases are still rising in Washington County (not by much though). So I am willing to risk it. The only reason I say “risk it” is because they are not wearing masks and do not do physical distancing either (the hugs, remember?).

I should have not said that I am starved for social contact as I have been meeting with my best friend every couple of weeks, but no hugs… Masks and 6 feet of separation were in play. Words can only connect you to each other to a certain degree…

Anyhow, I am tempted to bring political stuff here at the end of the post, but I won’t. Too much down already. All I could say is that I decided to vote in person instead of mailing it in so as not to give trump the satisfaction of recounting. I hope the rest of the people will do the same.

So that’s it. That is my day for today. I am sure it will get better tomorrow (or so I hope). But today all I can do is drink wine and watch the “Great British Baking Show” in the evening to lighten my spirits.

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