My computer is covered in wine stains and dog hair. I don’t know how it is still alive. Someone on Facebook said that what matters is how the computer feels inside. I don’t know how it feels inside. It does not talk to me. And if it would it would probably say that it is resentful.

Just came back from a week-long vacation. Was great! This time I wasted a little bit of my life but managed to fit a camping trip to Upper Salmon River in Mt. Hood forest. It only lasted two days as it started raining and there is nothing more that I hate than getting wet but still was worth it. Just being alone under the canopies of trees and the river by my tent made me feel like a newborn who does not have any worries yet and is curious about the world with imagination running wild. I am an adult. All I have (mostly) is stress about the world as most adults do. I cannot believe the Portland yuppies who claim that life is beautiful. When you cannot pay your rent it is not beautiful anymore. You are in survival mode. Secretly I believe that any yuppy that says that is a trust fund kid or independently rich by some other means (perhaps a retired computer programmer who made his money in Silicone Valley by being bought out by a public company and thus making oodles of money).

This week was cool temperatures and raining and we are going to pay for it with over 90F next week. I think this trend will continue for the entire summer and way into September. I don’t know how I would survive it. I don’t know how my dog will survive it either. We both will be miserable together after all misery loves company.

I stopped running for a variety of reasons that I won’t mention here as it deserves its own post. I feel horrible but I still try to keep up with the strength exercises so that my back does not hurt with all the weight gain. The weight gain is stifling my confidence. I hate it. I hate the subtle double-chin. It only appears when I bend my neck a certain way but it is there. It is baffling to me as to why I gained weight. I don’t eat anything different than before the weight gain. I am walking my beastie a fair number of miles every day. The only thing that is missing is running. But I thought I would make up for it by walking more miles than usual. I guess not.

On the other hand, I quit smoking and vaping. And I am down to 2mg of chewing gum. That is very close to quitting nicotine all together although I listened to a podcast where a renowned physician was speaking of the benefits of nicotine for the brain that keeps it agile and how he is chewing nicotine gum just for that. Maybe I should stick with that. I would hate to lose my brain. I already cannot remember things.

And that is all for today. I know some of it sounded like a broken record but I cannot help the same things that occupy my brain on regular basis. So hopefully I can come up with something brand new in the next post.

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