bird pick

Insomnia. It’s been a couple of weeks since I was able to suspend myself into the sweet honey of dreams. I don’t know what happened. Nothing has changed in my routine. But nevertheless, here we are, not sleeping. The upside of insomnia is reading. After all, you have an entire night to kill. That’s a lot of hours. We don’t generally think of sleep in hours. But really, if you think of it we spend half a day sleeping. Well, for most it is almost half a day. I love to sleep, I love my dreams even if they are on occasion nightmares. I am a lucid dreamer. Perfectly aware that I am dreaming and able to control which way the dream goes. It is like shooting a movie with me as a director. I need my dreams. It is what keeps me going during the day looking forward to the night of entertainment and magic. But back to reading. I devour books at night. My recent reading is “The Book of Embraces” by Eduardo Galeano. It’s a gem! So honest, poignant, relevant, and powerful. It consists of just a half to one-page ruminations on different subjects. I am so tempted to take a picture of a page and post it on Facebook so that other people can bathe in their beauty. “The dreams were off on a trip. Helena went as far as the train station with them. She bade them farewell from the platform, waving a handkerchief.” Can’t you just see the white piece of cloth flourishing in the air attached to a gentle hand that is moving sideways? Can’t you just see the face of the woman waving, maybe with a few tears? That’s me waving goodbye to my dreams.

Insomnia. I am sure that the election unknowingness does not help. I must have refreshed my feed of the election 500 times today and still the same numbers.  It’s killing me as I want to know one way or another what this country will be up to in the upcoming year. But alas, no chance as of today. Maybe tomorrow will be better. One can only hope that tomorrow will be better in every respect. Maybe some luck will go their way, maybe it won’t rain in spite of the weather app predictions, maybe afflictions will miraculously disappear. Who knows. Whatever you wish for tomorrow might or might not come but the point of life is to keep wishing, keep hoping. Otherwise, what’s the point of existence. I know it goes against the popular trend of mindfulness. Stay in the present kind of a deal. But if your present is not satisfying what else can you do but wish for it to change in the future.

In any case. Insomnia. I fucking hate you.

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