Today’s task is to return all junk mail to the sender. I am supposed to change my name to B. Smith from the Resources and Personnel Department instead of the return address.
This was a very welcoming task. So, I started… First, I actually checked my mail, and lo and behold my box was full of junk. Exciting! This demanded a huge number of envelopes. So, I had to go to the store to get a box of them ($5 in gas+$5 for the box). Then I forgot that it actually demands stamps (who mails regular mail anymore?) So, a trip to the post office was in order. Just like at DMV the line was crazy (X-mas season). But I persevered and even appropriated “discretely give the finger” for this task. So, after 40 minutes that I will never gain again, I was a proud owner of two books of stamps (oodles of money)! This is proving to be an expensive endeavor!
Now, some junk did not have a return address, like coupons so I had to go to various websites of Fred’s and Safeway to get “Contact us” info. Time-consuming (again, I would never get that time back but it is better than watching TV). And finally sticking it in the envelopes. The coupons of which there were many just did not fit into a regular envelope so I had to go back to the store to get bigger ones (you know, the yellow ones). But before I did that I thought that there might be a coupon for that so I proceeded to browse through them. No such luck. So $15 later I was a proud owner of the yellow ones. Let the shoveling them in begins! But here I ran into another hurdle. The yellow envelopes did not fit into an outgoing mail slot by my mailbox. Another trip to the Post Office. Another 40 minutes of waiting in line. Another opportunity to flip people off. There I found out that mailing the yellow envelopes actually costs more ($10 in total)… So now I am still a proud owner of one book of stamps. I am OK with that because now I can mail X-mas cards to as many people as I have stamps. And of course, that will demand the X-mas cards. Another trip to the store is in order. But I’ll save it for another task.
