Today’s task was to “pretend you are pregnant day.”
Here is what I did:
Stuffed a pillow under my undergarments.
Went to walk Opee holding my hand behind my back and walking at a slow pace. (Opee was so not happy with that). Some woman asked me if she can touch my stomach (I kid you not!)). I did not let her as the pillow would feel softer than the actual pregnant stomach. She was pissed and just jerked her head and walked away.
Went to Target and cooed over the baby clothes.
Selected a cute onesie that said, “My brother is a doggo.” (there was a sister option but Opee is a dude).
The woman at check out asked me how far along I was. I said 8 months (I kind of estimated based on the pillow size).
Went home and pretended I had to vomit (just made sounds like I was. Opee was perplexed).
Did not drink coffee or wine (that was a pain in the arse as it is Friday the unwind day).
Selected names: a girl – Agnes and a boy – Charles (yes, I am a sucker for old-generation names).
I am still sitting here with the pillow under my undergarments as I write this post. My next step would be to eat peanut butter with pickles (I heard that pregnant women crave outrageous combinations).
I hope I don’t give birth to a baby pillow. That just would be too weird.
4.7.23
