Today’s task was to speak only Esperanto. I had to carry my book with me because I totally could not remember all the lines at first but then I memorized them after a while. I had many opportunities on the walk with Opee and instead of saying Hello, I threw Esperanto at them. This resulted in them asking very slowly and loudly, “Where are you from?” 90% of the time. The other 10% resulted in bewildered looks. Since at home, I don’t speak much to other people unless there is a Zoom session for work so instead of baby talk Opee got some Esperanto. I specifically picked a weekend for this task as I am sure my co-workers won’t understand my task and probably will think that I am drunk. I got some phrases and then just repeated them over the course of the day. Here are the phrases I used with the translations:
- This is citizen’s arrest, drop your knives: Mi civitan-aresto vin. Faligu viajn trancelloin. (this one I used for greet and meet on the street).
- I am looking for Esperanto speaking dominatrix: Mi sercas seksmastrion kiu parolas esperanton (also used on unsuspecting strangers).
- Quick! I need emergency surgery now!: Rapidu! Mi urg’e bezontas kirugrion nun! (used on Opee as I memorized this one quickly as it is a matter of life and death).
- If you park in my spot I will shoot you in the head: Mi vian kapon pafos se vi s’telos mian parklokon (spoken to my neighbor upon his exit from his apartment. got a strange look so I had to say, “Esperanton” as he totally knows where I am from and that I speak English. Thank got the word in Esperanto for Esperanto is close enough in Esperanto. To my surprise he totally understood. Smiled and kept walking away from me — crazy lady).
- Our plans for invasion are ready: Niaj planoj invadi finfine pretas. (spoken to a neighbor who was walking her dog at the same time as me. I had to walk away from her fast after that so that I did’t get a bewildered look and followed by explaining like with the first neighbor. Hopefully, she will continue being nice to me).
- That’s a massive line of cocaine: Lomgegas tiu linio da kokaino. (spoken to Opee numerous times after being given treats and chewy things like bull’s testicles).
- Why don’t you understand Esperanto? Vi valapukisto cu Esperanton vi ne komprenas. (spoken to Opee after he gave me a bewildered look as he did not recognize what he thought was a command like “seat” for example).
I kind of deduced some words like “Mi” which means “me” for example. Hopefully, now I can converse with people who do speak Esperanto (you never know), and hopefully you too after reading this.
