Today’s task was to “shoplift something.” After closely examining examples of what to shoplift that the book offers as follows:
1. A sweet — Police caution (don’t eat sweets. A leftover from Soviet childhood where we did not have any).
2. A car — 4 years (seems too low. No? anyhow, would not fit in my pocket. Plus Fred’s does not sell any so, no).
3. A handbag — 2 years. Don’t need any. Can you imagine me with a purse?
4. A little old granny’s handbag — 5 years (could not find one. This one would have been fun!)
5. A house — N/A. (already paid for mine. not sure I want a second one although squatting might have been fun)
So, none of these worked so I decided on something that I would enjoy — beets for borsch. Here is how I did it. Went to Fred’s to get ingredients for borsch. The beets are sold in bundles. I got two as they were quite small. At the checkout, I entered just one after being prompted. Because it was in bundles the checkout did not process the weight. Success!
I got to my car and since the task was accomplished it was fine but my guilty conscience spoke loudly to me so I returned to Fred’s and paid for it.
Turns out it is so easy to shoplift! Plus, there are many items you can simply put in your pocket (just make sure they don’t have an electronic tag on them. It will beep after you check out). Clothes are even easier. Go try it on and leave it on (see the aforementioned electronic tag though).
Disclaimer: please don’t try it as if you do not succeed there are some years in prison coming! And definitely don’t try it in California. If you do it three times and get caught you stroke out and the sentence is 25 years.
