Today’s task was to “presell your memoirs based on my spectacular future achievements”
So, I mailed the letter to an address provided by the book: 12a Wyman Park Drive, Somerset, NJ 08872
This is the letter (kind of a long read):
Dear publisher, This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to buy my memoirs. I am Tatiana and you have not heard of me yet but you sure will. At the present moment, I am 50 years of age (long life as it is). In the next 10 years, I plan to climb Mt. Everest naked, marry a Hollywood actor (identity to be confirmed but I am shooting for Hue Jackson) and interview the head of Chinese secret police and also become a chess champion (not against the AI).
After that in my 60s I plan to regroup Van Halen with me as a drummer, cure cancer of the pancreas (my mother had it) and enter the political arena against Trump.
My plans for the 70s are a little hazy as it will be 20 years from now. However, it will do something to populate the Moon., divorce the superstar (Hue Jackson) and become the champion of the oppressed (possibly within the UN).
So you see my life would make for a great memoir which I am offering to you now. I would like at least 100,000 for it and not a penny less beyond that amount. You have 24 hours since receiving this letter. Otherwise, I am off to your rivals…
Yours, Tatiana (author).
Well, wish me luck.
