Tuesday

8.8.18

hot

The hot mess continues. The second week of misery. Nothing much is happening outside of that. Bread has not been baked as it is too hot and I subsist on sandwiches which is getting old. How many ways can you dress deli meat or how much watermelon can fit in your stomach before you become a frequent flyer to the restroom? The main downside of this hotness is that I can’t run during the day and I find myself on a verge of tears every day about stupid shit: because my office is too cold and I have to go outside just to warm up, because I cannot quit smoking since it gives me a purpose of going outside, because my dog is not getting enough exercise and his paws are hurting from walking on hot asphalt, because I can’t eat pizza (I love pizza) since it’s too hot to use the oven, because my stupid apartment management banned window air conditioners, because my work is boring at the moment (the campus is dead, email is dead except for the junk, the phone is not ringing) and other upcoming shittiness that life throws at you.

I have received more books from a friend. So many that it should be keeping me reading for a couple of years at least. Now I need a bookshelf as you can only stack so many books on the ledger of the fireplace before the towers fall. IKEA here I come. I might as well get a fake plant for the office while I am there. Swedish meatballs is going to be my reward for an hour drive there.

Other than that, life is boring at the moment. The mind is melting, the body is overheated, depression sets in (something to fight at least) and I cannot wait for the weekend so I can escape to the coast. Even on the coast, there is only one option: Bayocean. The rest of the trails are packed with other Portlanders who had the same brilliant idea of breaking free from 100F. At Bayocean there is never herds of people except for occasional locals who really do not have to escape anything. I love the drive there. You go through beautiful Tillamook forest and as you get farther from town you watch the thermometer in your car slowly descending. By the time you hit the city of Tillamook, you arrive at nice 70F. Nice! Did you know that Tillamook has a Twitter page: https://twitter.com/TillamookCheese?

The art-making is currently on hold mainly because the mind is melting and the absence of motivation wrapped around me as a fuzzy blanket. I needed a break anyway. The new series of paintings on paper that I have started half a year ago I think exhausted itself. You know this when you find yourself unable to see the next layer of the paint. Maybe it is time to return to drawings for a while. Clean the palate or so to say except not with grapes but with pencils. Or maybe I can start writing a novel or a memoir (most of the people seem to want to write one) which then can become a bestseller, millions would trickle into my wallet and I will be taken care of for the rest of my life. I would not have to buy lottery tickets anymore.

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