Today’s task was to “Apply for a knighthood.” Had to think about this one. I think the best thing I got from it is the British Primenister’s address which is 10 Downing Street, London, SW1A 2AA, United Kingdom. Please feel free to make your own application. The American citizens however may not stile themselves as Sir or Dame (totally lame), but can use the appropriate letters after their name (well great! more letters after my name: M.Ed plus Dame. I can test it at my work signature and see how people react).
This of course will require another trip to a post office as a regular “forever stamp” just won’t do. No worries, I can keep practicing my giving the finger.
So now to a letter. It was short.
“Dear Prime Minister, I think it is about time I got the designation of Dame. In my lifetime, I achieved advancement in my career (although at this point it is over–glass ceiling. However, the status of Dame might open up some doors or at least a raise which comes in handy). My most enduring quality is the ownership of dogs. I think it is noble (although dogs don’t care about my potential status as they cannot read or speak for that matter. But still, in my baby talk to them I can include “This is Dame Tatiana. Who is a good boy?”). My other qualities range from washing my dishes by hand even though I have a dishwasher to fixing my smoke detector so that it does not beep ever. I can share the procedure with you in spite of it being a secret. I am sure if your smoke detector goes off your neighbors might misconstrue it as an attack.
The other quality is reading a lot of books so I am patiently awaiting your memoir to make my reading list complete.”
If that does not get me the status of Dame then I don’t know what will. Patiently awaiting the answer. I can totally clear my calendar for the ceremony. I am flexible like that.
