Today’s task was to perform striptease (in private). OK so private went out of the window as I have all my window shades open because if they are not I get claustrophobic. But my neighbors across keep them shut so I guess it was somewhat private. (Note: I have no idea how people live in small boxes without natural light). But these neighbors are across the street and they belong to a “weird” category.
Anyhow. First I had to select music. I chose “Suburban House” the leftover from my DJing days. The record is flawless. The house bits are perfect for stripping. So, because I don’t have a heater on due to hot flashes what seems to be every minute there were a lot of layers. Well, the record is an hour and a half so no problem there. First I started “twerking” as I saw it on a show once that had striptease girls. Then I remembered E.E. Cummings’s poem called “Streaptease” from my English Lit days and took the first line “She stiffly struts…” Well, I only had about 8 feet to strut. But I made do and speeded up ripping my layers off. The first layer was done in 1 minute after twirking. Two more layers to go. My dog however took my strutting as an invitation to follow. Ok, one audience. I wish he had dollar bills as I have to pay for my wine. For the other two layers, I wish I had a pole to spin about to make it more sexy. But alas no luck in that department so I did the hoky thing and dropped on my knees which made my pants difficult to come off so I just did the top. Took two layers off. Now I am bare from the waist up. Needless to say, I had to stand up for the pants. I tried to be graceful but how could you be lifting one bent leg and then standing on one leg meanwhile. I of course fell but alas the couch was nearby. Anyhow, the rest of the taking off layers was not graceful. The socks came off the last. The record was still going so I did another twirking naked. That concluded my endeavor and I promptly put back the layers as I was getting cold and my skin was covered in goosebumps. Back in my comfort zone.
