Today’s task was to “use your TV remote for evil purposes.” Here is the lay of the map:
#1 — turn traffic lights green. I took my remote with me when I drove my piglet to a park for a morning hike. Eventually, the light did turn green. Way to go, remote.
#2 — activates evil in people. So did not try this one! we passed a lot of them on the hike but I really did not want to deal with assholes.
#3 — make cats vomit. Hm… Don’t have one so I cannot check on the cat’s vomiting progress. Pressed it anyway.
#5 — restart supercomputers. Well, with AI being in the news for which you do have to have a supercomputer I totally pressed this button. Maybe a restart make it more people-friendly.
#8 — disables incoming missiles. Don’t want to die so of course this had my finger on it.
#0 — gems people’s cell phones. Tried it on a hike as we meet a gazillion of people just staring at their cell phones on a hike. It was between bumping into them on purpose or totally killing their cells. I opted for the latter.
Play — remote Nuclear War button. No way even though I do have #8 button (see function above).
Forward — makes airplanes go faster. I wish I had this button when I flew to Chicago. Would be more enjoyable.
Down — triggers an immediate orgasm. Pressed this one more than once but only when I got home.
Rewind — Pauses pacemakers. I think it is a totally arrestable offense. So no go on this one.
Lower the volume — could not explain this one. I suspect even the makers forgot what it does.
I highly encourage you to try it and see what chaos you can instill in the world.
2.14.23
