Today’s task was to “think of the brand you could be a great spokesperson for. Contact them and become rich.”
So the book gave me suggestions but I ignored them as I did not know any brands they recommended. See if you recognize any:
• Zappot (apparently removes spots from your face. I prefer to age gracefully spots included).
• Whitex Toothpaste (only if you have great teeth. I don’t. I have fangs like a wolf or werewolf).
• Forever batteries (don’t trust this one. Unless they invented perpetual motion ones).
• Snotooth cigarettes (Snowtooth? As in white ones? That’s just a bunch of bull. I will only speak to you if you are dead).
So, I decided to get another brand. I settled on two:
Neosporin and Trader Joe’s for which I am a mascot already as I shop there all the time and not in any other store except occasionally in Freds when I have to get stickers on fruit or buy beets for borsch. They know me by name there and say hi to me even if they just restocking the supply of food. I am especially grateful to their sommelier. Here is my application for both with interchangeable titles of the brand:
“Dear (insert brand). You are a lifesaver for me as I use you daily. It does not matter if it’s a cut on my finger (for Neosporin) or a food supply for a week (Trader’s). The healed finger allows me to prepare food that I got at Trader’s which of course fuels my body and it would not be possible without (Neosporin). I adore you (and so is my doggo who needed a healer for a cut on his paw) and you have been beneficial to my health. I can do a commercial for you and ask you for monetary compensation of at least $50,000 which is an amount of my ransom and the amount that takes to upgrade my condo. I think it is on the cheap side for you as you are a multi-million company.”
I emailed one to Neosporin (believe it or not they actually have it on their website (both of them). Neosporin (https://www.neosporin.com/contact-us) Trader’s (https://www.traderjoes.com/home/contact-us) in case you would like to become their spokesman as well. Task accomplished. Now all I can do is wait.
