Today’s task was to rage against the machine. The book provided the machines. I provided the commentary: Rage against the toaster — did it this morning. “You’ve burnt it again! Raaaaaaggghhh!!! Rage against the kettle — also this morning as I was trying to have tea. “Boil you fucker, boil!!!! Rage against the elevator — I had to take one…
Today’s task was to “praise an unsung achievement.” So I decided on 3 (one politically incorrect as most of the society hates them but I saw them in action so there.) 1. Neighbor: I posted a note on his door. This is what it said (true to the core in regards to him). “Dear neighbor. Sorry to bother you with…
Today’s task was to generate your own barcode. The book gave examples of some famous people with barcodes: Michael Jackson Tom Hanks Salman Rushdie Celine Dion Oprah Winfrey Elton John Yoko Ono I am proud to join their ranks. Well, some of them. Don’t care much for Celine or Oprah. I don’t want to see your millions worth which of…
Today’s task was to learn how to tie a knot. First I had to determine why. Here is what I thought: Escape from fire. escape from kidnapping. Tie up a maniac until the police arrive. Tie yourself to a tree during the tornado. I learned a single wall knot: Unlay the ends of the rope, and form A bight with…
Today’s task was to “presell your memoirs based on my spectacular future achievements” So, I mailed the letter to an address provided by the book: 12a Wyman Park Drive, Somerset, NJ 08872 This is the letter (kind of a long read): Dear publisher, This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for you to buy my memoirs. I am Tatiana and you have…
Today’s task was to prepare for the world’s end. According to “Church of Holy Rapture,” the world’s end will happen at midnight Israeli time. Which means 2 pm PST. It is 2 pm on the dot as I write this task. I had to make all the necessary preparations. However, if I am still alive after 2 pm I have…
Today’s task was to speak only Esperanto. I had to carry my book with me because I totally could not remember all the lines at first but then I memorized them after a while. I had many opportunities on the walk with Opee and instead of saying Hello, I threw Esperanto at them. This resulted in them asking very slowly…
Today Facebook suspended me for using the word “propaganda”. I cannot rebel and when I tried to send them a message to appeal this preposterous shit it said that there is an error. Fuck you Facebook. I mean really fuck you. Your censure is bogus and completely unacceptable. I guess it’s 1984.
Today’s task was to “leave a trail behind me, Hensel and Gretel style.” I decided on candy and thumbtacks, and chalk markings. We walk in different neighborhoods and I decided to leave a different trail in each. I thought people will either pick up candy (the best outcome) and thumbtacks (everybody needs those at some point or other). The chalk…
Today’s task was to “walk barefoot on grass.” Well, in the morning it was 38F but I attempted this anyway. Took my UGGS off and ventured into the unknown. There is no grass by my apartment so I had to go to a children’s playground. There it says no dogs allowed. Ya, whatever people. It’s the only way I can…
