Today is the “conspiracy day.” So, due to my laziness in spring cleaning, I hired (for the first time ever) a cleaning lady. I left the house because I thought it was rude to observe her and that would make her uncomfortable. I did leave the list of things I wanted to get done. Took two pages because it is…
Today’s task was to “pretend you are pregnant day.” Here is what I did: Stuffed a pillow under my undergarments. Went to walk Opee holding my hand behind my back and walking at a slow pace. (Opee was so not happy with that). Some woman asked me if she can touch my stomach (I kid you not!)). I did not…
Today’s task was “to work out what your dreams are telling you to do and do it.” Well, here is my dreamland (I looked it up): 1. Clouds — there are problems at work. go on vacation. (yey. I am so overdue!). 2. Falling — your fear of failure. Don’t do anything today. (great! I am all for not doing…
Today’s task was “to go to the nearest cemetery, cover your face with flour, and walk into town with your arms outstretched.” Well, this was a fun one. I went to the cemetery near Cornelius (30 minutes of driving but it is a beautiful cemetery). Opee was with me. As I covered myself with flour he felt inclined to lick…
Today’s task was to “mouth something obscene to a stranger.” Things I chose to mouth: 1. I’m hot for you 2. You look naughty 3. Hello horny 4. Fucky fucky sucky sucky 5. Nice ass stranger I was somewhat afraid they can actually call me on that in which case I was prepared to say, “Your shoelaces are untied.” So,…
Today’s task was to “spend $37.” Apparently, economists determined that $37 a day is the optimal figure to spend at this point to spend at the billing cycle. Do your duty for the world economy to purchase goods for $37. That was not easy as I had to add everything I purchased at Trader Jo’s and no matter how I…
Today’s task was to “shoplift something.” After closely examining examples of what to shoplift that the book offers as follows: 1. A sweet — Police caution (don’t eat sweets. A leftover from Soviet childhood where we did not have any). 2. A car — 4 years (seems too low. No? anyhow, would not fit in my pocket. Plus Fred’s does…
Today’s task was to indulge yourself. Following Oscar Wilde’s quote: “Anyone who lives within their means suffers from the lack of imagination” I proceeded to the list of items I was supposed to indulge myself with. Here is the list: 1. Caviar: Tsar Imperial beluga = $1,500 a lb. Nope. Could not find it on Amazon anyway. Could have had…
My task today was to plan for my old age. Here is my want for old age things: 1. Mansion: $1,000,000 2. Yaht: $200,000 3. Golf: $5,000 a year 4. Viagra: $5,000 a year 5. Trip down to the Nile: $5,000 a year 6. Medical care: $100,000 a year (this one is a lowball as my meds cost $15,000 a…
Today’s task was to “found an entirely new city.” Every city starts with a single brick. According to instructions, I was supposed to find a brick and then a field to lay it in (preferably by a river as it will make your city a trading port in the future). Finding a brick was easy as my condo came with…
